> In Distance

There are times where I wonder "What does it all lead up to?". My mind by now nothing more than a vast wasteland. I can't see clearly, I dare not to understand, I feel like my perception doesn't allow me to. These lands are my home, and the more I distance myself from them the more they call me back. I cannot escape it, I don't want to… It feels nice to belong; even though I can barely remember the extent of my journey, or as a matter of fact, who or what I'm doing it for.

I reach out to the blue manifestation in front of me. It looks ever so tantalizing, and I can feel a comforting essence inviting me to come closer, attaching itself like strings onto my fingertips. I walk onward, the feeling of familiarity causing endless tears of joy to cascade down my cheeks. A dim light illuminates my way forward making sure I do not trip over the nothingness in front of me. I sense its intention, I can feel a meaning unfolding itself in front of me the closer I get, until…

I blink… My eyes wander to my hands and feet before I survey my surroundings, observing the distant horizon. The fact that the lands have summoned me back once more, strikes me like the sharp end of a blade. I wonder if I have even moved at all, or perhaps secretly distanced myself from what I wanted to reach.

The land is my home, the meaning has passed, and my dreams don't need meaning any longer. Soon the endless darkness of the void will have consumed my sleep, and I will have become nothing more than a husk of my former self. Not even the grasp of reality can prevent that anymore.

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